C'est la vie: November 2004

Crampy Monday

I was feeling a little unwell today so I took the day off work. Saw the doctor who seemed quite sympathetic to my bad cramps and headache. She wanted to give me 2 days off! But because I was feeling a tad guilty about not going in to work, I asked for just 1 day of medical leave.

Erm.. but I didn't get stay home and rest all day (though that was what I intended to do!! honestly..)

Met up with GH for lunch. I was craving for pizza so we went to Rocky's pizza. Hmm. It was disappointing. It used to be so good but the standard's dropped quite drastically. Not nice. I think I like Canadian's pizza better. Even the dominoes pizza in aussieland taste better than Rocky's. Bleh

Thereafter, we went to grab some dessert whilst waiting for Pam. I was meeting Pam for a movie - Bridget Jones' Diary - the edge of reason. Marvellous show. Whee! Its a total chick flick and I'm sure the guys out there won't quite appreciate it. heh. It was swell just hanging out with Pam... she's the sweetest!

I feel better already and all ready and full of zest to go back to work tomorrow :) In fact, I think I'll go in earlier tomorrow. heh

VCD night

5 hours ago, I had 7 new vcds lying around, untouched and unviewed.

5 hours later and now. The number is reduced to 5!! :) My eyes are all googled out now.

Watched Duplex starring Ben Stiller and Drew Barrymore. Hilarious comedy about a couple who moved into what they deemed as their dream home, and ended up having their peaceful quiet life all turned topsy turvey by a cranky upstairs neighbour (who happened to be a centurion)

And.. I re-visited Love Actually. Oh how I love that show!! Totally truly brilliant show. Heh. My fave segment is the love that blossomed between Colin Firth and the Portuguese lady. Amazing isn't is - how love transcends language barriers. Nice and sweet.

Feeling warm and fuzzy within meself now. Love actually is all around. Heh.. where is the love?

Hosea 6:1-3

"Come, let us return to the LORD. He has torn us to pieces but He will heal us; He has injured us but He will bind up our wounds.

After two days, He will revive us; on the third day He will restore us, that we may live in His presence.

Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge Him. As surely as the sun rises, He will appear; He will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth"

What goes down will come up

"Like a child, you have fallen and you are sad. But even a child learns to get up and wipe the tears away - what about yourself?"

Honestly, I have never fell so beaten and fallen in my whole life, the way I felt in the past 1 year. I know its not easy to snap out of it totally, but I want to.. I really really want to. I'm sick of seeing the glum and despair on my face.

I know I am an emotional being... often too emotional for my own sanity's sake. But I know and I trust that God will see me through, for in Him I draw my strength... in Him I find wisdom and peace.

I look forward to that day when my heart no longer aches and I am at peace. And when that day comes, you won't need me to tell you.. you will see and feel it.

Conjugated Me

I've been studying the whole night. Phew, conjugaison is puzzling! In a nutshell, when used with different pronouns (I, she, he, you, we) the verbs get conjugated. You think english is difficult? Meet its evil cousin, French!

For eg,
I eat = Je mange
He eats = Il mange
She eats = elle mange
We eat = nous mangeons
You eat (formal) = vous mangez
You eat (causual) = tu manges
They eat (all females) = elles mangent
They eat (when there is a male) = ils mangent

That's present tense.. And guess what happened when it gets changed to past tense!? Eeks!
(insert, if you really want to know.. click on the pictures below)

I am feeling so so conjugated!

I never like studying and note taking with the basic colours... Hee.. check out my oh-so-colourful notebook. Makes revision a lot more fun :)

The little things

I couldn't resist getting these cutesy things today when I was in the mall.... heh :)

And lookies.. some new earrings.. yay! I wonder why I keep buying new earrings since I always wear the same few pairs. Its an obsession!!

K doks, back to my books. I got an exam to study for. laters!

A princess' drama

I really ought to be studying for french now, but I need to say these..

I felt like a princess today.

My life is a drama!

Why? Stay tuned, details shall be revealed on the blog or over coffee soon... :)

I'm quite zonked out, but in a happy sorta way. heh

My not-so-l'il sis

I'm a little worried for my sis. I see the way she is handling her relationship of 3 years and its worrying.. Mum and I reckon she's starting to waver a little, and worst of it all she shows it explicitly, and a tad cruelly.

Over the long weekend, with the public holidays like Deepavali and Hari Raya, this l'il sis of mine popped over to KL with this girl friend of her plus 4 other guys she doesn't know. Honestly, I know she's not intending to paint the towns of KL too red or create havoc. But strange thing is, when her bf wanted to accompany her on the trip, she refused him flatly and in a not-so-nice way. He was obviously not too pleased about that.

Then today, she was practically uncontactable. Her bf popped by our place and waited 2 hours for her to come home. Mum rang her and sms her too, but it was apparent that her phone was either on silent mode or she is plainly refusing to answer the call. Bf of hers been smsing her the whole evening as well. Having waited 2 hours plus for a gf who is not home and uncontactable, he bade us goodbye and I could tell he was a little upset... Didn't take a smart aleck to figure that out. Everyone at home could feel his sad vibes. Poor guy.

Finally, my sister decided to call us back. She was in a movie with someone. Hmm. If you had thought I was feisty and difficult, you haven't met my sis. She's worse. Mum knew better than to question her who that 'someone' is. Anyway, she just told my sis to call her bf back. Don't know if she did.

I hope I am worrying over nothing really. But methinks my sister is going through the uncertainty patch in her relationship rollercoaster ride now. And my gut feeling tells me there are other guys hot in their pursuit for her, and she's got issues/questions, many many of them. And mum actually spoke to this other guyfriend of her recently who asked for my mum's permission to start 'chasing' my sis.. (???) Weird!

Oh well, I can't tell her what to do but I do hope she be mature and think it through. Whatever it is, I just want her to be happy.

Tooty Tuesday

Funny. I was icqing a friend from church yesterday about Philip Yancey book. Told him to check that book out if he's between books. And guess what, he started reading the book the very same day I started too. God's got a good sense of humour doesn't He? :) Discussed a bit about the book with my friend, and we both agreed that grace is truly an amazing concept. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound!

So, I'm gonna say it again. Its a good book to read! :)

My new colleague reported to work today. And initially I thought my manager wanted me to guide her through some modules but I found out today that she wanted me to train her continously for the next 3 months! So basically, I'm the unofficial trainer at my department now. This is my trainner number 2 this year. Its really quite a challenge and I'm enjoying it.. so far.

And guess what? I don't have to work on New Year's eve!! Yay, no more counting down to the new year in office :) (: Not intending to go paint the town red, probably spend it with some close friends and spend the new year's day at home with the family. Bliss!

Two books

Starting the whole reading habit once again. I used to read religiously every day, and its nice to read something that is non-work related :)

One of the books that I am currently reading is "What's so amazing about Grace" by Philip Yancey. I bought this book back then in 2000 and never got down to finishing it. I was just browsing through my book shelf yesterday and this book strike a chord. I just have to read it..

There is a virtual edition for this book. Do check it out. If anyone wanna borrow this book when I am done, give me a shout! Will be more than glad :)

During lunch today, I bought a new book "Man and Wife" by Tony Parsons. That will be a nice sequel to "Man and Boy" which I finished reading a couple of months back. I like reading sequels.

Ouais! I love books (as much as I love eggs) ! Heh

Another new look

I decided Pigno was right. There are too much purple and pink in the room already, and a blog with both colours again?! Heh, so yeah what ya think of this? I think its a lot more pleasing to the eye. Sometimes simplicity works best :)

Oink Oink

Oink! Hello everyone, my name is Pigno. I am so excited to meet you all here for the first time. Just hours ago, I was sitting at the shelf feeling all forlorn and sad when Shaz walked into the shop. I was thrilled when she took a glance at me and smiled.. the rest is history, so its said.. :)

My first impression of Shaz' bedroom. 3 Ps!! Purple! Pink! Pigs! Do you freaking know how many pigs she has??!! Unconfirmed stats report the number to be 30!! Piglet the bum is the luckiest one. She lies on the bed all day long and sleep as though its her birthright. Tsk, and there is this other pig which thinks it most influential because its carries all the gold coins. I hear the other pigs call him piggy bank. I wonder what his interest rates are. And there is Porky Chop, the penholder who is always smiling because he think just because he's been holding pens, he can surely compose... how naive!

Btw, if you were wondering what Shaz is up to these days.. she's totally obsessed with the 1960s fashion at the moment. I think she's got some company dinner and dance coming up in dec. She is tossing between the idea of going dressed as the famous Jackie O or her fave star.. Audrey Hepburn. I think this is how the famous Audrey looks like.. I spotted her on the CD shelf!! Ya' think she will sign my autograph book? Wheeee! I rubbed shoulders with a celebrity!!

The great Audrey!

Ah, such grace she exudes... Just look at her... I think I'm going to swoon...... Do you think she like pigs?!

Btw, How rude I was. If you hadn't figure out, I am proud to be a handphone holder! And do allow me to introduce you to my playmate Ah Lian Handphone. When she rings, it means someone is looking for Shaz. But these days, Ah Lian tells me she is bored from inactivity ... and when she does ring occasionally, Shaz doesn't shower her with too much attention. I think there is much rife rivalry between Ah Lian and the Toshi Lappie. Shaz spends much more time playing with Toshi than with Ah Lian. And oh, don't tell Ah Lian this, but I think Shaz is going to buy a new handphone soon.... *gasps* poor Ah Lian.. I wonder what's going to happen to her!

La fete des lumieres

Happy Deevapali!

Ok, I don't know why I am feeling so happy about it. Despite it being a public holiday, guess what? I have to go in to the office. But joy oh joy, chuck the office attire aside, I can go in to work in jeans tomorrow, or even shorts if I so fancy. Heh :) Wahaha.

I weighed myself and much to my own disgust, I've lost weight again. Pants that were once deemed as tight fitting no longer hang snugly. I feel like a clothes hanger - the clothes hanging on moi and not me wearing the clothes. Tis bad, tis grand probleme.

Note to self - eat more, eat more, eat more!

Alors, Je suis tres fatiguee. Bonne nuit mon amies. Bonne journee aussi!

Sick

Went back to the terrible work hours yesterday. 6pm to 3am. I think my body finds it hard to readjust back to working nights. I am feeling somewhat sick with body aches all over. Its a terrible feeling!! :( That coupled with headache and a running nose spell pain..

Then again, I didn't quite mind being busy occupied with work to keep the mind off silly things. And time does seem to fly faster when one's busy. But, what happens after work?

I've been thinking.. Why do I still feel strongly for him? Do I still love him? Love is a very relative thing, feeling. Some claims they feel a natural high when they see their beau. Some said its a natural and stable feeling. I feel neither of that for him. Yet I care a lot for him. I find it painful to see him wallow in self pity and waste his life away. At times, I even wonder if I am the main culprit behind his decadence! I feel like I am to blame for his bad behaviour!

I know - as adults we are all responsible for our own behaviour but knowing that doesn't stop me from feeling guilty at how his life had turned out. He's become cynical and mellow. I feel responsible.

And looking at myself - what have I become? Sigh. I like to think that I have grown wiser and more mature, but deep down I know otherwise. I am half the me I used to be, none the wiser.

Google on

I am a big fan of online newspapers. Sometimes I like a fresh copy of The Straits Times delivered and flipping through its carbonated pages; but more frequently I like to read the news online.

The internet contains a wealth of information, if we only know how to utilise it. I am sure most of us would have done a google search at least once (or more) by now. Did you know that google also does a fantastic show at organising the information on the daily news arena? Check out http://news.google.com/ - by default it goes to the US-centric page, but at the bottom of the page you can also click on the various international versions. Any version will gives you a one page concise summary of what's happening in the various sectors. Good and easy.

Have you googled today?

Games!

Check this out! http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/

The animation and graphics are pretty cool too.

An explanation

I said it before and I am saying it now. I am not proud of my bad behaviour on Thurs. I have no idea what got into me, how stupid outlets to vent my frustrations and anger?! Alcohol is evil. It makes the already emotional me more so, and a fool I was.

The smoking bit. People who know me long enough know how much I detest smoking. I hate being the receivers of second-hand smoke too, and I am not hesitant to make my protest known. A good friend emailed me and told me that smoking is what 14-year olds do to escape from their worries. How apt. I was behaving like some ignorant teenager!

Why did I behave the way I did? I don't really want to narrate the whole story.. but in a nutshell. The ex. And no, he's not getting married. Neither has he found a new gf. In fact, he wants me back.

I was confused (!!) and more so, it pains my heart to see him wallowing in self pity, drinking and smoking his life away. So in a very uncanny rebellious way, I wanted to do the same too. It was as though I harboured the thought to inflict on him the pain he caused me, by smoking and drinking.

Stupid me.

I didn't sleep a wink on Thursday. Whilst the eyes were closed, i had one million and one thoughts racing through my throbing head. I got out of bed at 6am on Friday morning and sat at my desk and prayed.

I asked God to forgive me for my bad behaviour and for strength & wisdom. I know how emotionally weak and unstable I can be and I didn't want to act tough anymore, before HIM.

Friday zipped through really quickly at work. I was physically tired but I pressed on. Was planning to go home straight after work for some much needed rest, but a friend called inviting me to her birthday party. I couldn't say no since I promised her last week.

At her birthday bash, I didn't touch a drop of alcohol. I drank coke the whole night :) And I had a really good talk with steppie who was invited to the bash too. In times of need, God really does provide me with listening ears and crying shoulders. I am thankful.

Thanks to those (you know who you are) who's been there for me and show me you care. You may not say or do much, but knowing that you are there for me is enough.

Thank you my dears. I will soldier on.

Me bad

I am not proud of this.

I drank too much last night... way too too much.

I smoked, for the first time in my life. (I actually finished 4 ciggies..)

I behaved like a hysterical woman.

I cried and I was super emotionally overcharged.

I am so so physically tired now.

I need to go to work.

I am depressed.

I thought of ending it all last night.

I need help.

The new wardrobe addition!

This came in the mail today! Nice? :)

I am so so so tired. Just got home from office not long ago. The eyes all dried up (from wearing more than 12 hours of contact lens); the legs all sore (from the shoes) and the skin's all shrivelled up (from stayed cooped up in the aircon room)

Its another 9am thing at work again tomorrow. Bleh!

Monday very blue

Despite feeling sick and wobbly, I was trying to act tough this morning. Popped two panadols and made my way to work, thinking that the two pills would miraculousy rid me of my congested and simultaneously runny nose.

When I got off the bus at work, I felt so sick and terrible. The sun felt like a blazing flame and the people I see around me were all blurry. I was going to drag myself to the office when I decided I am no toughie (and I sure didn't look like one with my ghastly white face drained of colour..) and that a visit to the company doctor was inevitable. bleh.

Now, I must tell you about this company doctor. She terrifies me! Think the persona of a strict principal and naggy mother all rolled into one, and there you have. Ahh... So she took one look at me and basically just told me that I need to go home and rest. And of course, to guzzle more water. She sounds totally like my mum!

Trotted back to my office, cleared some work and emails. Told my colleague I'm taking the day off and instead of making my way straight home, I deviated from my homegoing path and did the following...

1) Went shopping!
lol - thereotically, I didn't make plans to shop per say. I bought a skirt on saturday and because I didn't check properly there was some stains on it. So I took it back to the shop hoping to change for a new piece. Then, I spotted something else I like. And because that skirt was more of an impulse buy, I decided to exchange it. But before I could do that, I had to try it on right? Well, it was swift and painless. I liked what I saw when I stepped out of the dressing room, so there! only 15 minutes.

2) Met GH for lunch
I was going to go home and make some noodles for lunch. Had to take the medication after food. I was messaging him that I was on mc and am going home. He, being very bored decided to meet me for lunch. So we had a quick lunch and then walked around a bit to shop for zy's present. I was too tired and sickly to scout for her present properly. Ended up buying her a card only. I have two more days to shop for her present.. what should I get?? I am hopeless at buying presents. So much so that I would ask the birthday boy/girl what h/she wants. Its always good to buy people what they want, isn't it?

Came home and plonked into my bed. I didn't wake till dinner time and mum made sweet & sour fish!! That was yummy. I miss home cooked dinner. Eating out just doesn't feel the same, with all those msg and stuff.

I have to be in office at 830am tomorrow, so I better have an early night! Hope everyone's feeling great!

C'est la vie

Monday, November 29, 2004

Crampy Monday

Sunday, November 28, 2004

VCD night

Friday, November 26, 2004

Hosea 6:1-3

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

What goes down will come up

Monday, November 22, 2004

Conjugated Me

Saturday, November 20, 2004

The little things

Friday, November 19, 2004

A princess' drama

Thursday, November 18, 2004

My not-so-l'il sis

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Tooty Tuesday

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Two books

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Another new look

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Oink Oink

Thursday, November 11, 2004

La fete des lumieres

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Sick

Monday, November 08, 2004

Google on

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Games!

An explanation

Friday, November 05, 2004

Me bad

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

The new wardrobe addition!

Monday, November 01, 2004

Monday very blue

Snap Snap

2007 resolutions

French

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